Courtesy of BFS Man via Flickr
We met at a breakfast café early Wednesday morning, and I found out he was just like me. This corduroy-wearing, thin as a rail, nerd was just like me.
Mr. Brown Eyes arranged the whole thing. He said we had to meet–we had common interests. When I first saw the guy I thought: As If!
But he cut right to the chase. He was a vampire too. A big, nerdo vampire.
Who knew something like this even existed? You would think with natural selection or evolution nerd vampires would go extinct. But there he was, sitting across from me, looking at me though those nerd glasses.
Thanks a lot, Mr. Brown Eyes. You somehow figured out my secret and instead of setting me up with the guys from The Vampire Diaries, or even staking me, you set me up with this geek.
He sort of looked like this guy. I guess. I mean they all sort of look the same. (Image courtesy of Andres Vilas via Flickr)
So, Nerdo Vamp yammered away, while I tried to hide my face from the other breakfast eaters. I have an image to protect you know.
He smoothed his plaid button down shirt with spindly fingers. “Well, Libby, now that we are both privy to each other’s situations. I must tell you the reason for our meeting.”
“You see, I am a financial planner, for vampires. Now before you dismiss me, let me explain further.” He removed a gold embossed business card from his shirt pocket. “Vampires, especially those new to the lifestyle, have difficulties far beyond that of an ordinary human. We must plan for centuries of turbulence, the unknown, a life that stretches far beyond our imagination. A life that will be filled with great angst if not properly prepared for.”
I dropped the card into my purse and took a sip of tea. Could Nerdo be any more of a buzz kill?
“First tell me how you knew I was a vampire,” I said, trying not to stare at the muffin crumb dangling from his lip.
“Well yes, of course. How rude of me to dive right into my pitch without explaining more about us. My partner, the man you sold the home to, I have trained him to detect vampires. The small nuances, the subtle clues that give our kind away.” He reached for a lemon wedge, nearly knocking his water over. “Well, I’ve always been clumsy. Even vampirism couldn’t cure that.” He gave a sheepish smile and squirted lemon juice everywhere, but in his water glass. “I am especially interested in new vampires. And there has been so much activity in North Carolina, the Raleigh area.”
I popped a grape into my mouth, acting only semi-interested. “So, what was it about me that gave it away?”
“Well, Libby, you were dare I say, easy to sniff out.” He patted his lips with the napkin, finally ridding his face of the offending crumb. “Your fangs came out while you were showing the house.”
Courtesy Marek Isalski via Flickr
I shook my head.
“Yes, Libby, when you took the tumble in the bedroom. You might not recall since you took quite the hit to the head.”
“Oh,” I covered my mouth. “I guess I’m not as good at hiding it as I thought.”
“Don’t be alarmed. Your skill will improve with time.” He stole a look at his watch. “Well, Libby, I better be off. Please, take a look at my website and I’m on Twitter too.” He paused and let out a loud nerd laugh.
I tried not to wince.
“Who would have thought I’d be on Twitter? An old-fashioned guy like me. I was anti-wheel when it first came out.” He let out another nerd laugh. “You know, because I’m so old. Get it?”
The couple across from us whispered a few select words.
“Yeah, I get it. Very clever.”
“Yes, indeed.” He scooped up his briefcase and shook my hand. “Well, Libby it has been a pleasure meeting you and I look forward to future conversations.”
I wiped my palm on the tablecloth and slunk back in my chair. Like I need Nerdo’s help. Evan and I have plenty of money. And I’m smart. I’ll just invest in real estate or gold or something.
My phone buzzed with a new text message. It was Mr. Brown Eyes. Ugh. He was encouraging me to check out the website. These two were worse than that couple that wanted me to save the whales with them or whatever.
Fine. I clicked the link and gave a cursory look at the page, just to say I did it. But then a picture caught my eye. I hadn’t seen him in forever. But it was him. Oh my god it was him.
**Why not start the series from the beginning? Click here to read about Libby’s first day as a vampire**