Hey everyone. I need help. I’ve misplaced my memory and I can’t find it. I used to always have it with me, rapidly spewing obscure facts and actually remembering the word, apparition. More and more though, I misplace it, leave it charging on the kitchen counter. Or I’ve stuck it in the fridge, instead of the cupboard.
For the most part, it’s the steel trap it once was: Oh, yes you mean Judith Light from Who’s the Boss, which aired from 1984 to 1992. She later went on to star in Ugly Betty and Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, but I will always fondly remember her as Angela Bower on that quirky sitcom.
But then there are times this happens:
-Where are those you know – thingy boppers?
-Hold on, did I just apply conditioner? Or accidentally shampoo my hair twice? Let me feel it… yep, shampooed it twice. Oops.
-Oh, I know I’ve seen that actor before… his name is on the tip of tongue… it begins with a D, no a K… I’m not Googling it. I’m not. I’m going to figure this out… A week later as I’m washing the dishes: Russell Crowe. His name is Russell Crowe. I knew I didn’t need you, Google.
-Wait. Who won the last Super bowl? I’m pretty sure I watched it. (It was the Baltimore Ravens. I had to ask my husband)
-Wait. Who won best video on the MTV VMAs last year? Mmmm. I stopped watching that years ago, you know when MTV actually played music and CDs were primary mode of acquiring music. (It was Rihanna in case you’re wondering)
-And lastly: blankly stares at the word “hello” – is that spelled right? That can’t be spelled right. But spellcheck hasn’t underlined it. I know, I’ll paste it into Google and see if Google does that did you mean … thing. Hmm. I guess it is spelled right. Weird.
I’ve tried not to let it bother me. I chalk it up to getting older or the fact that you can only cram so much information into your brain before it starts auto-deleting or at least auto-archiving. Then there are all the distractions competing for my brain’s attention.
And let’s face it, a twelve year old has way less to remember. Their personal history and first hand experience of the world is much more brief. They have only been through two presidents and 100 versions of Microsoft Windows. They’ve never used a computer that just had the flashing green cursor thingy.
And of course they can remember the names of all 7 dwarves, they haven’t been forced to remember what Avogadro’s number is or been asked to memorize all the muscles in the human forearm (my favorite is extensor pollicis brevis) or had to program a VCR (Damn you SP setting. You got me more than once. And now I’m left with the first two hours of Stephen King’s “It” on one tape and a partially recorded televised version of Poltergeist on a another tape).
And now I feel bad for all those 90 year olds I harassed when I worked in the hospital, asking them what year it was or who the current president was. Bugging them about how long they’ve been married and the names of all their kids. Jeez. I can barely remember what year it is.
Wait. It’s 2013. Right? I’m not going to Google it… I’m not.