Libby’s Post: Do vampires get fat?

So, it’s been a week now and my vampire life has been kinda blah. They totally over exaggerate in the movies. Where are the diabolical plots or evil vampires? Where is the hot, sulky, male vamp to keep me company? Nothing sparkly has stopped by either.

I did feel like there was a crow stalking me in the backyard the other day. Perhaps a fellow vampire in bird form? Then I realized he was just picking off a dead squirrel. I should have known. Yuck.

Then there’s the whole eating thing. I still think blood is pretty gross and I have to find a palatable neck to suck on. I mean does anyone else think most people are pretty unappetizing? There are some people I cringe just looking at. And now I have to put my lips on them? Ew!

I won’t feed on kids either, that’s just creepy. I’m also turned off by really old people. Their skin just looks so dry and baggy. Big, sweaty men are gross too. Can anyone say, salty? So, I’m left with recently bathed young men and most young women. Although, I do find myself judging women by their shoes and handbags. Do I really want to feed off someone who shops at Ross? Oh, and their perfume. Certain perfumes (I’m guessing designer imposters) when mixed with blood, blech.

I also have to figure out how much I have to eat. Like, do I have to hunt every time I have an urge? What if I hold out until nighttime? Will I decay? Or burst into flames? I mean how long can I really go? I’ve been trying to stretch it out to see.

And then there’s the fat factor. Can I still get fat? Can I gain weight from too much blood? I’ve been eating regular human meals. I’ve downed fist-sized chunks of cheese and whole pints of ice cream.

So far, the scale hasn’t moved. I’m remaining optimistic. This could be the best thing that’s ever happened to me!

Then there’s Emme. She’s been going on and on about this Lost Colony stuff lately. I’m almost starting to think she’s crazy. But, hey look at me. I’m a vampire, so I can’t judge her too much. Good news is I have her fooled. She has no idea I’m a vampire.  I must be doing something right. Now if I can just figure out what to do about work tomorrow. Do I really have to go?

**Why not start the series from the beginning? Click here to read about Libby’s first day as a vampire**

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2 thoughts on “Libby’s Post: Do vampires get fat?

  1. Marcy Blankenship says:

    Well, looks like I am safe then since not only do I shop at Ross, but I am also getting pretty darn old. I wouldn’t think vampires feeding off blood would or could get fat, not if you believe in the Atkins high protein diet, anyway. No carbs in blood.

    • jennifer Windram says:

      Sorry about the Ross and old people comment, sometimes I don’t think before I blab. And the fat thing, I have not gained a pound, even after downing a whole pizza last night (I didn’t feel like going out, so I got two things delivered: the pizza and the delivery boy. Both were yummy!) Thanks for saying hi. ~Libby

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